Shhh... Ignore the subject line. That's how we do things here—it can't be October yet because this is the September letter. Shhh....

Lines on the page are easier to face than any moment of my day. That came to me over the pleasingly slick grate of a fine nib on the page and the echoes of Yung Lean saying absolutely filthy things through my headphones.

My guilty pleasure during this season is paying attention to a lot of pop culture, mostly through the lens of the Swiftologist, so naturally I spent two hours watching the VMAs for the first time in my life (#AbsolutelyTerrible).

That said!

I was really affected by the choreo for Yung Lean and had only seen clips before. So tonight I dove in.

The first part of the video made me sick to my stomach, and fast forward to listening to an album, I'm pretty sure the last few minutes will be the last few minutes I listen to this guy's music. But the climax of this video captures something about humanity right now, like a lizard tongue whipping out to smash a fly to bits.

(Note: Content warning on the video, I wouldn't watch it again. Better to stick with the version that's just the cool part.)

Notes on the choreographer and reviews of the video, etc., brought me this take:

Dark contradictions. Inner turmoil. Are we all here? I'm here because the process of dying to self is kind of killing me. I'm trapped in a cave of love and caretaking and I can't breathe sometimes, even though it's also the only life worth living to me.

But why are YOU here?

It's so hard to see beyond my own life's limitations to understand why someone across the street—young, single, employed, etc.—could possibly be feeling that turmoil, too.

But glimpses of art like this video show me just how much life there is outside my own damn problems.

How I experience the world... is completely different from how you're experiencing it... which is completely different from how someone else experiences it...

And we're all supposed to jive and make cellular towers, laws, and literature...

It's a real marvel sometimes.

At least my pens make sense.

Pens I loved this month

I've been stitched at the hip to my fine nib in the black/gold decimo. The fine line is just so perfect and smooth, and the pages I'm drawing just flew out. Naturally, I put De Atramentis Document Black in there.

I also bravely broke out my samples of Birmingham Pen Company Pennsylvania Fieldstone—no longer made, the last sample I may ever have—and the pages poured out, too. The color has changed over the years (formulations break down, evaporate, change #LifeLesson) but the lavender-blue-grey it turned into is still so pleasing to me.

I've got it inked up in this Earl Grey BENU and I adjusted the nib a little to make it wetter... success!

I sold my Stylosuite (flex nib in a Opus 88 body) because it wasn't getting use, and I found myself anxious when I used it that I would use it wrong and damage the value. Once I feel that way about a pen, it's the beginning of the end. Not that I want to trash my things, but if something can't be nicked or dropped without a real existential crisis, I know I'm just holding on to it for the next person. The pens that are really mine get used, held, tested... I only break my favorite toys, as they say.

Overall, I tried a couple different journal holders this month. I started the month in my new five pen fold over folio from Galen Leather, then wanted to try something new. Instead of dropping $50 on a new A6 cover, I opted to spend a couple bucks on a clear "cover on cover," and cut out an old school paper bag. I love how it looks! Stuck a sticker in there from a recent trip to our old college town.

Goings on

Interesting polls that took place the past few weeks:

​Have you been "cheated on" in a committed relationship? (However you define either of those terms). I find it sad this is such a shared experience. It's kind of funny that the guy who cheated on me answered this poll, too. (He answered "Yes," too).

​Have YOU "cheated on" someone in a committed relationship? (However you define either of those terms). The follow-up, just posted today. Weigh in if you're brave.

​Has parenting changed you? Me? Overwhelmingly, yes.

​Do you think everyone should have a “signature scent” (perfume, cologne, etc.)? Please, God, no. Scents make me ill, I often have to relocate in public if someone enters with a strong scent.

​Are you tired? Me... Overwhelmingly, yes.

​Have you ever felt your emotional landscape from an experience was perfectly capture in a Taylor Swift lyric, song, or album? This blew my mind the yeses are so low, and led to me sharing song recs.

​Do you generally cry at doctors appointments for yourself? This one surprised me! 9/10 times I am weeping at doctor appointments. Maybe it depends on how sick you are/how much self-care you're getting.

Some pages from recent sketches

There was a real achievement this month—I finished my 2026 book early. Usually I am three months late. This is evidence of a real lifestyle change where I'm working less and enjoying my hobbies more. I'm kinda proud! I also took a look at all three of my books (2024, 2025, 2026) and could see real growth over the years. I am very proud of myself. 😌

Sometimes people ask how I make time for so much drawing. The secret for me has been making this the part of the day I crave and look forward to most. I've removed all pressure from this. It's literally play time, like my kids look forward to a playground.

Often I'll listen to an audiobook (I'm on book five of a re-read of Wheel of Time), or Swiftologist, or a Youtuber I like (Chelsea Callahan is one I love). I'll also put on an album I love and just draw with it (Radiohead's In rainbows, a lot of Taylor Swift, Incubis, Japanese House, etc.) It's just my "enrichment time in the enclosure" and I relish it. 95% of the time, that's how I do it so much! The other 5% is while I'm out and about (it's in my purse) or waiting for my family to finish eating at a restaurant.

Often what I'm drawing is items and people in my environment. Then there are some go-to zentangles that are basically pen exercises. Then sometimes I'll try to capture a feeling or emotion, or a moment from a song. Lately I've been re-processing or trying to bring up old memories and remember them. It's (mostly) very soothing.

No repeats here—whenever I share it here, I put a little sticker on the top right corner. :)

Here's to fresh cut grass and the first frost! Here's to thinking of high school cross country meets, hot apple cider fog and surprise pumpkins everywhere you turn!

Love ya,

Sarah G.

P.S. if you like the emotional atmosphere here, invite a friend to join us. Here's to more time chilling and resting among friends.